What to do?

How do you tell your child who is exceptional that it is ok to exceed everyone’s expectations?

Why would I be asking this question?

Well I had an interesting day yesterday; Robin my little master of the universe had a visual perceptual appointment yesterday to determine if he is dyslexic like Lance. Turns out he is disgraphic not dyslexic but that is fine. He exceeded in all things the grading level for his age range is between 1-10. A 1 having the visual receptiveness of an infant and 10 being what every 1st grader should be able to do. After that it is 2 points for every grade level.  Robin only graded low on 2 or three things one was math and the other had to do with hand eye co-ordination and visual tracking.  The rest he graded at or well above his grade. Up to a 5th grade level.  I know my son is smart but this was terrific. I have no doubts that he is able to do and understand more than anyone expects but the 5th grade level was amazing!

So why all this detail? Because the gentleman doing the testing asked Robin about reading at home he said he doesn’t read at home (BTW, not true not reading in my house is like not breathing. If you dont do it you die). When asked why he doesn’t read at home he told the gentleman that he doesn’t read so that his brother Lance doesn’t get mad at him for doing better.

Robinin and Lance are brothers in the best sense of the word. Robinw ill defend Lance to the end of time. He will fight all comers until he has wiped them out, he LOVES Lance. He will protect Lance even from himself. Begging when Lance loses control for him to not hurt himself. Lance will fight to save or help Robin. He hates when he gets picked off because he is little. He holds and hugs Robin when his feelings are hurt.  If Robin is scared or hurt, he comforts him. Saying sweet things to him so he feels better. He Loves Robin but from my point of view its conditional from Lance to Robin, not the same from Robin to Lance.  But they are still brothers in the worst sense of the word as well. They fight, they say the meanest things, and they are hurtful.  They say things to hurt each other. Something I don’t have experience with especially when it comes to my siblings.  Even when we fight now we don’t say things to hurt each other intentionally with real thought in it. But my two do.

Remember Lance is 11 soon to be 12 and has severe reading issues he only reads at a first grade level.

So how do I maintain the "superior" role of Lance as the big brother.  He is supposed to be more "knowledgeable" because of age or "experience"?  Can I do this and  still give Robin the go ahead to excel, to show the world just how smart he is? 

How do I do this and not make Lance feel yet again like less?  

How do I balance my boys, so both can feel worthy and exceptional?

How can Lance feel like he can be the big brother and not be smarter? 

At least not literally book smart because Lance is very smart in his own ways.  How do I make sure that Robin excels to his fullest potential? 

What do I do so that Robin doesn’t rub in Lances face the fact that he is better at these things. Things that Lance struggles with all the time. He will have to struggle with for reading and math the rest of his life. Having to constantly refresh and renew in his mind things that for everyone else once it is learned it’s kept in the mind and easily accessed.

How do I make sure that in a moment of anger or frustration Robin doesn’t look at Lance and say, “Ha like I would listen to you, your too stupid to even be able to read"

How do I deal with the potential Superiority / inferiority complexes that are staring me in the face? Then make them not happen!

Oh God what do I do? It’s so hard to balance the two of them.  I want them to grow up and be friends. I want them to love each other like I love my sister and brother. I want them to care for and be concerned for each other. I don’t want them to be in a constant state of competition. 

Or in a eternal power struggle. What am I supposed to do??

Any suggestions would be greatly apriciated.

Fame and Stupid Opinions

Rob Schneider Links Autism To Vaccines, Rails Against Big Government ???  (see article)http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/01/rob-schneider-links-autism-vaccines_n_1641922.html

WTF?

Who is he to say this? Where is his degree? Where is the scientific research, (ie: repeatable tests that prove the outcome)?  You want to postulate?  You want to grab guesses well here is on that is based on actual facts and backed by some actual science..

How about looking at the nuclear fallout out from all the testing and disasters of the past 70 years. the 1st Nuclear tests were done in the 1940's.  reletively close to inhabited places women of child bearing age were

exposed to first fallout, what we didn't know is it take 50 years for radiation to dissipate.

 So lets draw a time line for those who don’t know... Between 1945 and 1998 there were over 2000 nuclear tests done.. World wide, the tests are spread globally but many were close to The USA as shown in the map I will attach.
Now these women of child bearing age are exposed to radiation in larger amounts that ever before, the radiation is loose in the atmosphere and blowing around the globe, rain brings some of it down to the drinking water and still it moves less intense but still there moving globally. What dosent get washed out by rain will travle in the wind for 50 years,
These women have their first daughters and sons and we have the first documented occurrences of autism. It seems that sons are the most affected by the effects of radiation on the communication portions of the brain.  Some girls are affected but in much fewer numbers than boys. Perhaps the daughters are affected this way, girls are born with one set of ovaries and essentially a set number of eggs. Boys don’t develop sperm until they are in their teens, and sperm re-generates or replenishes as it is used. essentially the system is frequently flushed and even though there is environmental effects the buildup in the testies is less than th econstant exposure of the ovaries.  

With girls,  the eggs are exposed to everything she is, from before she is born till she hits menopause. This includes residual radiation, in the food she eats the water she drinks and the air she breathes as well as medical exposure.

Now lets call the 1940s moms Gen 1,  Gen2 1950s would be their children, these post nuclear girls were exposed in utero, the occurrence of autism rises a little more some women are more exposed  to radiation due to proximity than others but autism is still pretty rare. Gen 2 has children and they get a double banged, because they are irradiated from their mother & grandmother then environmentally. More radiation from fallout & testing that continued though the early 60’s and 70’s These children have matured and had even more children all the while autism is rising slowly still a vague syndrome blamed on cold mothers who care nothing for children because why else would they be this way?

Finally we come to the 80’s 90’s and 2000 Lets call them G4x the radiation has been quadrupled three mile island, Chernobyl and now the melt down in Japan. All forms of birth defects are on the rise and 1 in 75 boys will be diagnosed as autistic or having PDD ( a catchall for the variants of autism that don’t always fit the broad umbrella of “What is wrong with my child!”).

So In short before you blame life saving inoculations perhaps you should look at history and science that can be proven. Do I think they bunch shots too much? Yes, But that’s because I think a child’s immune system should be treated a little more gently. If My child is sick and is exposed to another cold or virus before the first is finished he will become rundown and more susceptible to more serious infections. Less is more sometimes. But I still want them to get the injections!

But then I am only the mother of two children on the spectrum, I only read and do research on the side. My first job it to make my children be the best they can be! Not some over paid actor/ comiedian piad to make an ass out of myself and putting my un wanted opinion in on somthing that is not so easily explained.